Are You Feeling Alone And At A Loss Within Your Grief?

Have you lost a loved one, and now feel consumed with sadness, longing, hopelessness, emotional ups and downs and perhaps even anxiety and/or depression? Do you feel isolated in your grief, struggling to be present, make decisions and think clearly?

While we commonly associate grief with the death of a loved one, it can also be caused by losses of many kinds, including loss of a relationship, a beloved pet, health, mobility, a career, time or even the loss of a dream. Regardless of your loss, the grief is real and your experience is most certainly valid.

These types of losses can affect us in so many ways. You may think of the obvious, such as mentally, emotionally and maybe even physically. But other ways that may be surprising to you can be: effects on relationships, financial, socially and often spiritually.

Regardless of the reason, you may now be experiencing grief and perhaps you’re struggling with sleep issues or other physiological responses to stress, which might include aches and pains, gut issues, chest pain or fogginess.  It might be that you feel frightened, finding it hard to trust others or even yourself.

It may even be that your grief is awakening something else unresolved from your past, and you’re now consumed with several layers of grief - feeling increasingly overwhelmed, confused and vulnerable, maybe even irritable and angry. Your experience is unique to you, and grief can be very complex – your experience is likely a very normal one.

You Are Not Alone In Your Grief Experience

Grief is part of the human experience, and none of us goes through life without experiencing some form of grief and loss. There are many layers to grief, and the process of grief is different for everyone.

And, while grief is a fundamental human experience, our society as a whole doesn’t do it well. In other cultures around the world, a grieving person is brought into the center of the community and supported through their process. Here in the United States, we often do the opposite. Rather than feeling supported, people in grief often feel very alone.

Although grief is extremely common, especially in today’s world,  everyone’s grief story is different. That said, there are some common aspects of the grief journey that can be important to have support with:

·      Accepting the loss to the degree you can

·      Mourning

·      Realizing that your grief is unique to you

·      Allowing yourself to experience a wide array of emotions

·      Talking about your loss

·      Developing/allowing a support system

·      Finding ways to connect with your loss, which often comes through memories and stories

·      Developing a spiritual and/or transpersonal connection to your loved one

While it may not feel this way right now, grief has the capacity to move you toward healthy change and transition, especially when you feel held, understood and supported as you move within and through it.

Grief doesn't have to be an either/or process – either getting consumed by it and feeling stuck or on the other hand, attempting to “move on” without going through the healing process. Everyone's journey will be different and yet it is important to have your experience of the feelings. Having support through this time is important.

Grief Counseling Can Help You Integrate And Heal

In order to move through the grief process, it is fundamentally important that there is some kind of support, whether that be counseling, grief support groups, advocacy or spiritual guidance. Grief counseling, particularly, can be incredibly supportive in helping you move through your grief process and integrate your loss and experience in ways that are supportive, safe and healing. 

As someone who understands grief both personally and professionally, I'll be a witness to your experience, which is vitally important when in the midst of grief. I’ll be there to hold space for you and hear the story of your loss

Grief is multi-layered and can be incredibly confusing, and together we can work through the layers and confusion, making sense of it all as we gradually and gently tease everything apart. I can also help you sort through, understand, process and integrate the wide array of emotions that often arise when suffering a loss.

·      sadness

·      longing

·      anger/irritability

·      anxiety

·      hopelessness

Grief also often presents with a multitude of physiological symptoms, which can come as a surprise and can be hard to understand. As a somatic therapist who works with chronic illness and pain, as well as a grief counselor, I have the experience and capacity to help you identify, explore and address some issues that may be arising in you, such as brain fog, chest tightness, sleep issues and various aches and pains.

As we will work through your story, which is important in the grief process, we will do so using a mindfulness-based approach, exploring what is coming up for you in the present moment and how that feels for you mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I will also help you effectively work through the layers of grief; address any anxiety, anger, depression or trauma that has arisen; and explore your innate ability for healing and wholeness following your loss.

If you are in a caregiving role, I can help you navigate the layers that come with that as well. I recently lost my father, after several years of serving as his sole caretaker. I know what it’s like to feel like you are falling behind in your own life and understand the complexities that can arise when caring for another as they approach the end of life.

I know both personally and professionally that it is possible for you to create and maintain healthy, supportive boundaries and develop resources, insights, skills and practices that will support you as you move through the complex experience of grief and loss. And, I know that it is not easy.

Grief is an experience that we all have. We all do it differently, with varying levels of time and intensity to move through it. Although you might feel very alone and confused right now, you can and will get through this transition, in your own time.

There is deep value and healing power in sharing stories and having someone to support you and bear witness to your unique experience. And, while you may not be able to reclaim who or what you lost, you can acknowledge and accept your loss, move through the layers with a supportive ally, integrate your experience, and eventually, you will travel forward into your life.

You still might wonder if grief and loss counseling is right for you…

I’ve researched a few grief therapists. What is unique about working with you?

Although it is helpful to talk through things when working through your grief and loss, the way that I work is more holistic than other grief therapists you might have researched. 

Having your story heard by an ally in a safe and supportive space during a time that can feel isolating is so important to the healing process, but so are other aspects, such as understanding and working with the physical aspects of grief: working through anxiety, PTSD and trauma that can come up during grief. For many, there are deeper layers of grief that come up after the loss of a family member that relate to unresolved traumas from generations past.

I take a multifaceted, integrative and holistic approach, meeting you where you are in the many layers of grief, and serving as a witness and guide as you integrate your loss and move forward with your life. 

I’m a caregiver anticipating the passing of a loved one. Can this type of grief therapy help as I move through this process?

I know both personally and professionally how challenging and profound the caregiver role can be, as well as the anticipatory grief that you may be experiencing. Caregiving is a complex process that may be one of the hardest things you will ever do. Together we can hold the different parts of the experience in a sacred and supportive way. Knowing the experience first hand after several years of caring for a loved one, I would be honored to support you while you support your loved one.

I have not lost a loved one but I’m feeling a lot of grief and I’m not entirely sure why. Is this normal? 

What you are experiencing is normal, and you are absolutely not alone in feeling this way. There is so much deep grief about what’s happening on our planet, in our politics, in our communities, in our families and in our internal lives.

Together, we can sit with that grief as you unravel the emotions that are coming up for you. We can collaboratively explore the complexities of life as you integrate your experience in ways that make sense and feel right for you.

Please know that regardless of how you’re feeling, with help and support, you can and will move through your grief at your own pace and feel better. If you are in Boulder, CO or Denver, CO seeking a supportive and safe therapeutic relationship while you move through your grief and loss, I can help.

In grief therapy, the relationship is central to our work together, which is why I offer a complimentary consultation to discuss what you need and how we could best work together. I invite you to contact me today at 303-579-3166 to schedule our initial meeting.